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The Ultimate Battle
Chris: "Last time on Total Drama Revenge of The Island, I had the contestants compete in a battle of the sexes challenge in the underground tunnels of Pahkitew Island. Sugar was the first one to form an alliance, an alliance with the evil people! Dave tried to make and he and Sky an item but Sky wasn't interested!" (chuckles) "And I know why, and everyone will know soon enough! The guys won the challenge and the girls eliminated Zoey, but it was a fake elimination ceremony!" (chuckles) "How awkward for them! It's going to get even more awkward on this episode of Total Drama Revenge of The Island!" -- Total Drama Revenge of The Island theme plays -- Inside the cabins, Mike and Cameron were having a conversation. Cameron: "Look, Mike, I gotta tell you something!" Mike: "What's up buddy?" Cameron: "You know how I'm keeping your secret?" Mike: "Yeah, and I'm so grateful to you for doing that!" Cameron: "I think you should tell Zoey!" Mike: "Why? You didn't tell anyone right?" Cameron: "Not exactly, but Dawn and Sky know, but, don't worry, they'll keep it secret!" Mike: "Great, great! I don't know if I should tell Zoey. What if she thinks I'm a weirdo?" Cameron: "Oh come on! She's such a nice girl, I don't think she'd say something like that!" Mike: "Alright, I'll have to think about it!" Then they heard Dave writing something in a notepad. Cameron: "What are you doing Dave?" Dave: "I'm trying to figure out how to impress Sky so she'll be my girlfriend!" Mike: "I thought she didn't want to be in a relationship!" Dave: "I never heard her say anything like that!" Dave: (Confessional) "I think I finally figured out how to win Sky over! I have to be a fierce competitor, so at the next challenge I'll beat her! Everyone loves a winner right?" -- Outside of the cabins, Sugar, Lightning, Max, Scarlett, Scott and Jo were having a conversation. Max: (yawns) "What is so important that it required us waking up in the middle of the night?" Scarlett: "Cognitive function is dependent on r-e-m sleep!" Sugar: "We need to have a meeting! This game is moving rapidly and we need to be ahead of it!" Lightning: "Why would I help any of you?" Sugar: "Cause you need a team rallying behind you! Think of yourself as our mascot!" Lightning: (Confessional) "Me as a mascot! Yeah, that be awesome!" Sugar: "All those nice guys they gotta go!" Scott: "Yeah, there's way too much kindness around here!" Sugar: "If we vote together, we can make the final 6, I mean if I'm going to the end, I'm not going with them, I'm going with you guys! Now who should be our first target?" Jo: "I think the better question is, who do we recruit to join us? We need at least one more person for a majority!" Scott: "Maybe we can get that Dave weasel to join us. He'll do anything to get Sky's heart." Jo: "Please! He's a wuss. I was thinking maybe Bubble Boy on our side." Scarlett: "I was thinking Mike." Max: "That weirdo with the funny haircut?" Sugar: "Why him?" Scarlett: (smirks) "It appears that he's hiding a secret from us campers. Plus Cameron, Dawn and Sky are close friends of him, so they may know his secret as well. Plus have you noticed that he has been acting strange lately?" Lightning: "Yeah. That noodle arm loser did beat the Lightning in arm wrestling." Jo: "He has been acting strange with his characters he's playing." Scarlett: "Or, his personas." Scott: (smirks) "Oh, I get it." Max: "Wait stop! I can't keep up! What's going on?" Scarlett: "Put it like this, we're about to make a huge play in this game!" Max: "Oh I see...we're going to play an amazing game?" Jo: "Ugh, no!" Jo: (Confessional) "These people are idiots! Every single one of them!" Sugar: "Who should be our first target?" Jo: "I'd say either Shawn, Brick or Jasmine! Those three are tough as nails!" Scott: "We'll have plenty of time to decide that once the challenge ends!" Chris: (voice) "Attention campers! Report to the beach immediately! It's time for me to ruin your lives once again!" -- Then the campers arrived at the beach where Chris is waiting. Chris: "Good morning campers. Excited for the news today?" Others: "No!" Chris: "Well then, since we're at the halfway point, the teams are getting merged." Then the crowd gasped. Chris: "Since there's no more teams, it's every man or woman for themselves." Jo: (Confessional) "Finally! All that team stuff was really cramping my style!" Chris: "Now that the teams have merged, I've decided to let you kids have a break, and feast on a wonderful buffet!" Lightning: "Finally! I'm starving!" Chris: "Well I hope you have an appetite for Chunky Jugs!" The contestants gasped. Max: "I've never heard of these Chunky Jugs!" Chris: "Glad you asked. It's a meaty meat treat for you campers." Sugar: "Whoo-woo! I do love meat!" Lightning: "Lightning does too." Chris: (smirks) "Then you will love this!" Chef shows them the Chunky jugs and they looked disgusted. Brick: (Confessional) "I've eaten terrible food before. When I was in military school, I was taught to eat anything, and I mean anything!" Dave: "Do we have to eat this? I think it's gone rotten!" Chris: "No of course not, only if you want immunity! First one to drink their entire mug of Chunky Jugs wins immunity for this pre-challenge!" Chef: (whispers) "This stuff expired in 1975!" Chris: (whispers) "Don't worry, this stuff is mostly old mayonnaise and eggs!" The campers look at the chunky jogs and are nervous. Mike looks like he's going to puke, but swallow it in. Mike: (confessional) "Even if I can finish it, I won't like it. My personalities, well Manitoba might like it, Vito and Svetlana might puke and Chester will complian about it being expired and stuff." Mike drinks bit of it while the guys are drinking hard. Scott: "Mmmm. This isn't bad." Then Brick and Lightning threw up, while Scott shrugged. Scott: "Meh, your loss." Scott drink more. Scarlett: "I'm not drinking this!" Scarlett: (Confessional) "Yeah, eating challenges are not my thing!" Dave drank some of it. Dave: "Are you watching me Sky?" Sky looked the other way. Sky: (Confessional) "I think Dave's going a little overboard!" Dave: "Hey! Watch me!" Dave drinks more of his Chunky jog while Sky starts to puke. Zoey drinks some and spit it out. Zoey: "EWWWW!!! GROSS!!!" Dawn pushes her mug aside. Dawn: "I can't do it. I refuse to eat dead animals..." Sugar: "Speaking of which, I just remembered the Chunky Jugs song!" Shawn: "No! Please! Whatever you do, just don't sing!" Sugar: (sings) "Whaaaat's made of horse meat, smells like skunk comes in a jug it's juggy chunks. How's your dinner? Mine's just fine. Cause I love the taste of brine. Juggy chunks is perfect meal. For any celebration. Please ignore the warning. From the food and drug administration!" Jasmine: (Confessional) "That just, no that is the worst song I ever heard!" Then Sugar finished her jug. Chris: "Sugar wins the pre-challenge!" Sugar: "Wheee!" Dave and Sky continued to drink their Chunky Jugs. Chris: "Dave, Sky, you can stop now!" Then Dave finished his jug. Dave: "Done!" Dave: (Confessional) "Didn't win immunity, but I did beat Sky. Time to rub it in her face! Oh yeah, she'll fall in love with me right about now!" Sky finished her last and took a deep breath. Sky: "Done!" Chris: "Yep and you're last Sky! Sucks to be you." Sky then pounds her fists on the table. Sky: "That's not fair!" Dave walked to Sky and smirked. Dave: "2nd place to me! Boom! Totally did better than you!" (chuckles) "How sexy am I now? Bet I was still your boyfriend huh?" Sky groaned. Sky: "You were never my boyfriend! And you will never be my boyfriend! And you have no shot of beating or dating me! Got it?" Dave fell to the floor and started crying. Chris: (Confessional) "I am like so confused about what the what is with Dave and Sky, I mean like what?" Chris: "Wow, that was harsh!" Sky groans as she walked away as the campers are surprised but Max and Scott laughed. Max: "Ha ha ha! Look how sad he is!" Scott: (smirks) "Sucks to be him." Mike: (confessional) "....Yeah. I do need some time, if I want to confess my love to Zoey. I don't want to make the same mistake Dave did...." (he gasped as he's now Mal) Mal: (confessional) (laughs) "It was enjoyable to see Dave broken and sad like this." Chris: "Well on that super awkward note, it's time for our nighttime challenge! Hide and group seek! Sugar won immunity, so she's it! Anyone she catches joins in the hunt, but you have to stick together, no splitting up! Anyone Sugar doesn't catch, will also have immunity! We play until sunrise! You've got five minutes!" Then Chris heard Dave crying. Chris: "Uh Dave, are you okay?" Dave: (Confessional) "I gotta pull it together. If she sees me crying, she'll never want to date me!" Chris: "See I thought Sky telling you you had no shot of dating her, like none, 0%, never going to happen!" Sky: "Chris stop!" Chris: "I mean she was all you cared about. To have her stomp all over you, here, with all us watching, that's just so embarrassing for you! Also on an unrelated note, you got an advantage that was won by Ella which is night vision goggles!" Dave: (Confessional) "Well at least someone tried to help me. The only problem is how is a pair of night vision goggles supposed to help me?" Chris: "You can use it do see in the dark and find a hiding spot, since Sugar will be the hunter and you guys are the prey. If she tags you, you have to join her to find the others. Last camper lasting wins invincibility. Now go!" Chris blew the horn and everyone ran while Sugar is drinking more of the chunky jogs. Chris: "Uh, Sugar you already won!" Sugar: "Yeah, so?" Chris: "Uh, know what? I don't even want to know!" Sugar: (Confessional) "My mama said that I could eat as much as humanly possible! I never understood that, eating humans is not possible!" Sugar was holding an jug, trying to get some more. Sugar: "Oh come on! Don't hold out on the Chunky jugs!" Chris: "You are starting to freak me out!" Chef: "I tried to tell you, don't get people that look like celebrities!" Chris: "If I knew at the time, I wouldn't had brought her here! Here comes Sugar!!!" Then Chris blew his fog horn and Sugar ran into the forest. -- Mike, Cameron and Dawn were running. Mike: "Sky was a bit harsh on Dave." Cameron: "Well, he did had it coming..." Dawn: "Still, now we have reach the merge, you should now tell Zoey how you feel." Mike: (sighs) "I don't know... I don't want to make the same mistake Dave did... What if Zoey thinks I'm annoying." Dawn: "No Mike, you're not annoying. You're a sweet man, loyal, fun and nice. I know you and Zoey belong to each other..." (blushed) "That, and I did read her aura..." Cameron: "Wait you read auras?" Dawn: "Yes, it's weird, but it comes in handy!" Cameron: (Confessional) "This is uncanny! I'm on an island full of oddities and weirdness! Hello cover story for Bubble Boy Theory Magazine!" Mike: "What was her aura like?" Dawn: "Well, she likes to make tarot cards when things get intense, she's lonely in her home town, she never had a date before, and she's very sweet and kind." Mike: "Whoa... You do know her." Dawn: "Heh, I do." -- At another part of the forest, Jasmine was running around when she heard some noise from a bush. Shawn walked out of the bush. Shawn: "Oh hey!" Jasmine: "Hey!" Shawn: "So like, I found this great hiding spot, and I thought maybe you should have it!" Jasmine: "Okay then." Jasmine then followed Shawn and took her to a cave. Shawn: "Welcome to my hiding place." Jasmine: (unsure) "It's very nice." Shawn: "Something wrong?" Jasmine: "Well, I just don't like cramped spaces..." Shawn: "Yeah, but it's not that cramped, just..." Shawn: (Confessional) "Ohhhh! How do I help with that? Whenever I'm in a place I don't like, I just suck it up, cause at least I'm not a zombie!" Then Zoey walked by. Zoey: "Watcha doing?" Shawn: (screams) Zoey: (screams) "Yourself, but that doesn't answer my question though!" Jasmine: "We were just hiding!" Zoey: "Oh cool. Mind if I join you?" Jasmine: "Sure." Shawn: "Guess so." Zoey: "Oh thanks." Zoey walks in and looks around. Zoey: "Wow..." Shawn: "Impressive, huh?" Zoey: "Yeah!" Shawn: (Confessional) "This is nothing, you should see my bunker back at home. It's got everything! Food, lights, it even has a panic room! If I win the million, I'll use it to improve it!" -- At another part of the forest, Dave was trying to find Sky. Dave: "Sky? Where are you? Sky! Sky! Sky!!!" Then Sky walked out of her hiding place, frustrated with Dave. Sky: "You're going to get us both caught if you continue to act so obsessed!" Dave: (angry) "Well sorry! I thought you would like me after everything I do for you and...!" Sky: "Hey! I said "I like you but..." But you don't want to hear the "but" and it's NOT my fault!" Dave and Sky glared at each other, then they frown and Dave smiled as Sky got concerned. Dave: "Please be my girlfriend..." Sky groaned as she facepalm herself. Sky: "I already told you! No! Now I need to go now!" Sky: (confessional and moaning) "I don't feel so good... Maybe that's why I feel stressed when I get sick." As Sky walked away, Dave was getting angrier and angrier. Dave: "Well fine! I don't need you either!" (whispers) "I was lying, I do need you! As my girlfriend!" (shouting) "You'll regret this day!" (whispers) "Maybe not now, but someday! I can wait forever for you!" (shouting) "And, and, your eyes are like, like polka-dots and, and you look like Pocahontas!" -- Back at the beach, Chris and Chef were watching the whole thing unfold. Chris: "Wow, both those insults were terrible! I could do better! Heck, anyone could do better!" Chef: "That boy is losing his mind!" Chris: (chuckles) "Believe me, when he sees a certain video, he'll lose more than his mind!" -- With Brick, he has found a hiding spot. Brick: "Ah-ha! This place will be handy." Brick went in but bumped into Jo. Jo: "Ow! Hey! Watch it!" Brick: "Sorry ma'am. I do need to survive the night!" Jo: "Ah stop that whole survivalist talk! We're aren't exactly on Survivor!" Brick: "Boy wouldn't that be awesome?" Jo: "Yeah, I'm sure..." Brick: "Well now that you're here, you may as well stay! Safety in numbers after all!" Jo: "Fine!" Brick: (Confessional) "I think me and Jo are starting to really be friends! Nice to know that I can count on her!" Jo: (confessional) "Just need to be with Brick for a while and when the time is right... BOOM! He's out!" Brick and Jo are walking. Brick: "So, you been to war before?" Jo: 'Nope, but I have been working out lately." Brick: "I've noticed. Your a strong competitor, not as strong as me though!" Jo glared at Brick. Brick: "I think we should stick together and vote out Lightning! He's only in it for himself and that goes against my code!" Jo: "Fine! If you say so!" Brick: (Confessional) "I love asserting my dominance! I'm large and in charge!" -- Meanwhile, Scarlett and Max were wandering around the river. Max: (rubs his belly) "Oh, I feel my tummy wonny." Scarlett: (groans) "You just don't feel so good." Max sees everything blurry. Max: "I don't like the vision of the island." Scarlett: "Hmmm...." Scarlett then feels the grass and then smells it. Scarlett: "This isn't real grass... Something's not right..." Max: "I know! My tummy wonky is distracting me from finishing my mind control device!" Scarlett: "You have a mind control device and you didn't tell me?" Max: "I didn't think it was important!" Scarlett: "Your an idiot!" Max: "I don't like the way your talking to me, sidekick?" Scarlett glared at Max. Scarlett: (Confessional) "Keep talking kid, I'll be ready to unleash a world of hurt to you!" Then Sugar ran towards the two and jumped on top of the two. Sugar: "Gotcha!" Max: "Oooohhhh, feel not good." Scarlett: "Yes Sugar, you got us, now get off now!" Sugar got up. Sugar: "Now you two are on Team Sugar!" Scarlett: "Yes, but remember our alliance." Sugar: "Of course I will, Sugar always remembers." The three walked to find the others. -- Meanwhile, Sky is feeling pain in her stomach. Sky: "Still don't feel so good..." Then Dawn, Cameron and Mike sees her like this and helps her up. Mike: "Oh man, Sky are you okay?" Sky; "I'm fine, now that I'm away from Dave that is!" Dawn: "Oh dear, he's being obsessed with you, isn't he?" Sky: "I'm afraid so, could you guys maybe help me vote him out just to get him off my back?" Dawn: "Sure!" Mike: "I'm in!" Cameron: "Fine!" Sky: "Oh great! Thanks guys!" Mike: "No problem." Then they hear thunder as they're scared. Mike: "We should found some shelter first." They run as it starts to rain. Sky: "Great!" Then Mike tripped as his shirt is caught on a branch as it's ripped and he gasped as he's now Vito. Vito: "Hey ho! What's with the stormy weather and this isn't the mutant resort." Cameron/Dawn: "Uh oh..." Sky: "Mike?" Then Vito eyes Sky and smirked. Vito: "Hello babe. Never knew you were hot in the cold rain." Sky: (blushed) "Mike... Uh please... I can't..." Then Dawn took off her sweater and place it on Vito as he gasped, back to Mike. Mike: (embarrassed) "Uh oh... Vito came out, did he?" Dawn: "Yeah, he did!" Cameron: (Confessional) "Just make sure Zoey doesn't find out about this!" (chuckles) Then Dave walked by, breathing heavily. Dave: "Hey guys!" Cameron: "Oh hey Dave!" Then Dave grabbed Cameron and held him up. Dave: "You think your funny?" Cameron: "No, I'm not funny at all! Believe me!" Dave: "I don't believe you!!! You, you girl stealer!" Mike: "Wow, that insult was terrible!" Cameron: "I've never even kissed a girl, how could I steal one?" Dave's eyes twitched. Dave: "I've seen you and Sky getting chummy, and I don't like that! Dwarves don't get the pretty ladies! Stay away from her, you, you, you dummy! She's my woman!" Mike: (Confessional) "Well give him this, he's very persistent! Now I know how not to handle Zoey! Just don't be like Dave!" Sky: "Dave stop! Leave him alone!" Dave: "Why should I?! Is he better than me?!" Sky: "No it's not that!" Dave: Then why won't you go out with me?!" Mike: (angry) "She isn't interested in you, okay!" Then Mike gasped as he's now Chester. Chester: "Oh great, now it's raining. Bet ya fool kids dragged me outside again!" Dave: "What you say?!" Dawn: "Dave! Stop it, Mike isn't himself." Dave: "I don't care!" Dave then tackled Chester and they got into a brawl, as Sky is worried. Sky: "Dave! Mike! Stop!" Then the two boys roll down the hill and into the mud. Dave coughed as Chester gasped as he's now Mal as he chuckled evilly. Dave: "Ahhh! Mud! Now look what you did!" Mal: "Pitiful boy..." Turn to face Dave who is surprised to see Mal's wicked grin. Without warning, Mal grabs Dave and slams him to a tree. Mal: "Time to taste blood fool." Mal prepared to punch Dave but Sky calls for them. Sky: "Mike! Wait!" Quickly, Mal changed his hair to Mike's and face Mike's friends, but Dawn takes a step back. Mal: (as Mike) "Oh, hello guys." Dave: (crying) "Oh why Sky? Why won't you go out with me?!?!" Sky sighed, as she's really to tell the truth but a video monitor appeared and Chris' face appeared. Chris: (chuckled) "That was a funny but dramatic show." Cameron: "Chris? What are you doing?" Chris: "I was enjoying Mike and Dave ready to kill each other but wait until you see a bonus clip I just found." Then the monitor showed Sky's audition tape. Sky: "Hi, I'm Sky!" Dawn: "How is this a bonus clip?" Chris: "You'll see, I'll just fast forward to the good part!" Sky: "...But if I do get on the show, I'll really miss my boyfriend Keith!" Then everyone gasped as Dave was staring into space. Chris: "Maybe he didn't hear it!" Then Chris kept rewinding the tape several times. Sky: (Confessional) "Oh no!!! This is terrible! I made that audition tape with my boyfriend in the room! Truth is I was going to dump him, but when I left to do this show I didn't have enough!" (sighs sadly) "And I really liked Dave!" Chris: (Confessional) "I am like so confused about what is going on with Dave and Sky, I mean did you hear that? Like?" (chuckles) Chef: (Confessional) "That's low Chris, even for you!" Sky: "Dave, I..." Then Dave screamed. Dave: "You know I thought you were pretty, but now I can see that you are nothing more than a conieving, backstabbing, lying, selfish, manipulative, pure evil mother..." Then everyone on the island gasped and turned around when they heard the forbidden word. Chef: (gasps) "Good lord! That's the loudest profanity I ever heard!" Dave: "ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY KIDDING ME!!!!" Then Dawn and Cameron grabbed Sky's arms. Dawn: "Come on! You're not going to get verbally assaulted while we're around!" Dawn and Cameron took Sky away, while Dave continue yelling. Dave: "Yeah! Continue helping that backstabbing bitch, YOU TRAITORS!!!" Mal chuckled seeing Dave sad. Dave: "You're enjoying this! AREN'T YOU?!" Mal: "I do..." (grabs Dave) "...and I don't care." Then Mal punched Dave in the face, knocking him down. Mal: "All it takes is one BAD day... and you'll become a feral animal..." (chuckled) "Tootles." Mal left whistling "In the Hall of the Mountain King" while Dave holds himself and cried. -- Meanwhile, Chris watch it in the monitor and was laughing. Chris: "That is ratings gold!" Chef growled as he rolled his eyes and left. -- Meanwhile, Sugar, Max and Scarlett found Scott and Lightning and they join them. Scott: "Okay then. Man, it feels cold." Sugar: "Well, yeah, we did just hear the most offensive of bad words!" Lightning: "Oh please, I could say worse, if my pop wasn't watching though!" Max: "There must be crying going on! Oh how I can't wait to see it!" Lightning: "Dude that's horrible!" Scott: "Yeah, you shouldn't kick someone while their down!" Sugar: "Hey guys! I see red nearby!" Scott/Scarlett: "Ha-ha, very funny!" Sugar: "No, not you two, flower girl!" The villains sees Zoey looking outside. Zoey: (sighs) "Where is Mike? I hope he's okay...." Then the villains tackle Zoey and Sugar tagged her. Sugar: "Tag! You're it!" Zoey: "Oh no!" Scarlett: "Now you're captured, you got to help us find the rest of the others." Zoey: "Okay... But I know where the rest are hiding... in the woods!" Scott: "Then show us." Zoey nodded as she's leading the villains into the woods, as Shawn and Jasmine peek outside. Jasmine: "That was smart of Zoey." Shawn: "It was. Now we can hide in a new area." Shawn and Jasmine left the cave.